Is having a boyfriend cool again?
Why the Zillennial elite are trading extreme privacy for hard launches.
Hello hello!
I hope you’ve all had great weeks.
The main body of today’s newsletter is all about the rise of celebrities sharing their boyfriends. Are relationships the new status symbol? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
As ever, scroll the pop culture news from this week, our Hot & Not, and recs for your weekend ahead.
Thank you for being here!
Holly x
Towards the end of last year, the internet was flooded with responses to Chanté Joseph’s viral Vogue article ‘Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?’. It seemed like many people agreed that being outwardly obsessed with your partner is “culturally loser-ish” and the turn towards romanticising single life prevailed.
But I’ve noticed a shift recently: celebrities have become more comfortable hard-launching their relationships. Instead of a few scant paparazzi shots, it feels like we’ve moved into a new wave of intentional sharing. Some examples for you:
Gracie Abrams casually slipping Paul Mescal into her Instagram photo dumps, plus their coordinated public demeanour at big events
Dua Lipa making Callum Turner grid official and the viral clips of his chivalry (dancing by the Eiffel Tower, protecting Dua from paparazzi, giving Dua the spotlight on the Oscars red carpet)
Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet finally leaning into PDA after years of speculation, culminating in Timothée’s Golden Globes shout-out
Suki Waterhouse finally accompanying Robert Pattinson on red carpets
There are enough data points here to mark this as a trend. These are couples who have successfully stayed underground for months, if not years. They could keep it private – it’s easy enough to walk a red carpet solo or keep Instagram strictly professional. So why the pivot to transparency?
One theory is timing. Once a relationship reaches a certain milestone – engagement for Dua and Callum, a baby for Suki and Rob, the three-year mark for Kylie and Timothée – it passes a safety threshold. By the time they go public, the relationship has enough longevity to withstand potential scrutiny. It’s a way of skirting the “serial dater” narrative (think: the media treatment of Taylor Swift in the 2010s), so that by the time we see them, they’re already settled and in control.
“I think the media has sent me a really unfair message over the past couple of years, which is that I’m not allowed to date for excitement, or fun, or new experiences or learning lessons. I’m only allowed to date if it’s for a lasting, multiple-year relationship. Otherwise I’m a, quote, ‘serial dater’.”
— Taylor Swift for her Glamour cover profile in 2015
Ironically, being open can be a way to reclaim control. If a partner becomes part of the furniture, there’s less currency in speculative gossip, making way for celebrities to embrace the “normal” parts of their life. In the case of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn, their pursuit of extreme privacy eventually became a burden. Opening up has the benefit of treating partners like people, not state secrets.
To go back to timing for a second, it’s also worth noting that most of these stars fall into the Zillennial bracket (late 20s to early 30s). They are starting to feel a little older, more settled, and generally more firm in their decisions. It’s less of a big deal to share a three-year relationship at 29 than it is to hard launch a new man on Instagram at 23. Settling down too early is often critiqued, but a serious partnership at 30 is seen as normal, a sign of stability.
But there is a deeper, more economic layer at play. Increasingly, traditional milestones like marriage and stable partnerships are shifting into status symbols – luxuries afforded primarily to those with a certain level of wealth. As Eugene Healey points out:
“Having a big family has become, in some ways, the ultimate status symbol, because it requires several forms of privilege operating simultaneously.”
While Healey focuses on children, the steady partner is the required foundation for that lifestyle. With access to luxury housing, daily support, and high-earning careers, picking a partner is the final barrier for stars looking to build a curated family life. For everyone else, timelines are delayed. In a landscape of skyrocketing rent and industry-wide layoffs, committed relationships and the promise of children can feel like a flex of stability.
This pivot towards monogamy also mirrors a broader Gen Z vibe shift. Research shows that Gen Z is actually more interested in marriage than Millennials were at the same age, and are having significantly less casual sex. It makes sense, then, that our cultural icons would reflect this new desire for intentionality. We’ve moved past the “I don’t need anybody” era of feminism into a space that acknowledges we can’t – and shouldn’t – do it all alone. We are leaning more into the emotional softness required to be open to love, regardless of the outcome. As Ethan Hawke put it on the Oscars red carpet: “The one whose in love always wins.”
Of course, this shift is also happening against a backdrop of rising cultural conservatism, from the trad wife aesthetic to the prevalence of the manosphere. But looking at the men being hard-launched today, it doesn’t feel like a return to the patriarchy of old. The Callum Turners and Travis Kelces of the world don’t fit the Alpha archetype; they’re much closer to the Golden Retriever Boyfriend archetype. These are men who are not only comfortable but proud to be the plus-one, shielding their partners from paparazzi and holding their bags on the red carpet. It’s a version of partnership rooted in the female gaze, prioritising “written-by-a-woman” chivalry over manosphere-coded behaviours.
Ultimately, the opening of these PDA floodgates feel less like a turn toward conservatism and more like a collective exhale. It feels like the result of reaching a level of confidence that finally makes space for vulnerability. This is no clearer than on James Blake’s new album, his most-freeing music in a long time. Since releasing the record, he’s praised Jameela Jamil, his partner and collaborator of 11 years, and the pair have leaned into undisguised adoration.
How bad is it, really, to publicly adore someone and then have the world watch that relationship disintegrate in a few years? Is it not better to have lived that period loudly and fully, rather than spending all your energy trying to control the narrative? The new Zillennial elite seems to have decided that the risk of a public fail is a small price to pay for the luxury of enjoying love without fear. Maybe having a boyfriend is cool again, but not because it’s traditional, but because in a world of aloof perfection, being a lover is one of the few things that feels warm, grounding, and real.
Updates from the Capsule universe you may have missed this week:
Good news for ballet: Rosalía is on it
And this is also a fun feature of her tour
Zara has tapped John Galliano to design seasonal collections. This is a huge reach upmarket and away from the Shein competition… and here’s what people think about it
A long time coming: an Emma Chamberlain interiors campaign
If you have an Oura ring, or if you want one but don’t love the design, this is sick
Stars should take note of Hilary Duff’s social media strategy
That’s one way to reuse the Oscars carpet!
Lorde is the latest musician to go independent… we know good things follow when this happens (Exhibit A, Exhibit B)
There’s a pattern emerging with British Vogue covers
And love this from Tish Cyrus
This week, Tom Caro popped into Capsule to share what’s 🔥hot🔥 and what’s not 🙅♀️ …
Tom is an artist and producer making alternative indie music that sounds like the start of a journey. His debut single ‘In Your Mind' is out now, and so is his first album This Too, Shall Pass.
🔥🔥🔥Hot🔥🔥🔥
cinematic albums, sampling things that aren’t music, neuroplasticity, olives (I can’t stop eating them atm), relistening to old music, drinking more water, caring less about what people you don’t know think about you, teaching yourself new skills instead of being sad you can’t do things, filling your space with plants, filling your mind with positive affirmations, winning
Hot Not… 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
Social media trends that play on peoples insecurities, winter weather (my vitamin D levels are at an all time low), faster fashion with worse quality, iced lattes costing £6 suddenly out of nowhere, everything being subscription based, gatekeeping, websites not having a dark mode, travel insuarance (surely nobody is actually buying it right?....right?), contrarianism, jaeger bombs, insanely chunky impractical phone cases, losing
📺 Watching: Addison Rae’s set from Lollapalooza Argentina, this vlog on getting things done in spring, and this really fun compilation of Amelia Dimoldenberg’s Oscars red carpet interviews.
📖 Reading: This Miley Cyrus profile for Variety, which is accompanied by such a fun Hannah Montana-inspired photo shoot. And if you were here for the Lindy West open marriage discourse, two new pieces: this from West for her Substack on why she’s not a victim, and this from The Cut on the people who find non-monogamy helps with the “mental load” of marriage.
🎧 Listening to: ‘So What’, the new MUNA song, ‘Alone’, Carly Hann’s debut solo song (she’s the female singer on ‘About You’ by The 1975) and this Nymphet Alumni episode on “Catalan Chicslop” aka the aesthetic created by Spanish brands like Paloma Wool and Gimaguas.
Was thinking about this and wondering as well about the stage of career these celebs are at as well which allows a sense of permanence. They're all really at the peak of fame, so could have the option to be more selective around choosing projects that mean they travel away for months at a time, which facilitates relationship building.
I always imagine that celeb dating must be the most batshit thing, like one weekend together after matching on Raya or though networks at an award show and then you're both away for 4 months on a shoot or recording an album in a box in Australia or something!?
I did like the thought that most of the men in these examples do represent such a clear alternative reality to that of the hyper-masculinity we're seeing. I wonder if this alternative is being less hyped because these men are being chosen by women (ie the female gaze) as opposed to men? And additionally, a lot of the men seem generally less famous than their partners, again a potential power dynamic that many of those in the Manosphere wouldn't like?
Xxxx